Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
