and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
