Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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