but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
