You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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