I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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