possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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