just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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