I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize