all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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