Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
