CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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