Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
