Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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