I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
