So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
