hotel room ftw
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
