Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
