fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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