He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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