i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
