You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
