I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
