I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
