someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I stole a fireplace last night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
