grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
