You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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