That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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