The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he thought i was a dude.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
