I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Enjoy the penises
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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