dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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