her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
