Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
