I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
