sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
