Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
