I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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