I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
