You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
