Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize