Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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