my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
