I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
