FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
