bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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