Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
