the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
