every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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