nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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