Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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