Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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