the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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