Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
