i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
