actually, I'm a sock model
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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