I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
