So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
