There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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