I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
