so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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