i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Liz is crying about burritos again.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize